Introductions can be so awkward. Hello, I’m Dj Robinson, I’m a mother, podcaster, dater, self-awareness coach, a super messy human, and the owner of a company called Playing 4 Keeps, a new dating app built around emotional intelligence, love style, attachment theory, and sexual compatibility. Life is a game I feel we all should enjoy playing while we’re here, not just in dating but in all aspects of our lives, but before we can reach this point of enjoyment we have to become self-aware of what we want and our needs. We must learn to let go of any ideas of selfishness, guilt, or shame when it comes to those wants and needs.
A few years ago, I was a huge people pleaser that didn’t know how to say no. If the term Captain Save a Hoe had a name in the dictionary my picture would be right next to it. I self-sacrificed and picked up the pieces for everyone around me little did I know as I picked up the pieces for everyone else and made their issues my issues, their life, my life I was losing myself. Constantly attracting or just keeping people in my life that needed me because it was the only way I knew on a subconscious level that I would be kept and dealing with guys who only showed potential but needed lots of work kept me busy from facing myself. Until one day the guy decided he didn’t need me anymore. One or two things always ended up happening; I would give my all and then finally get tired or bored and move on and then just find someone new possibly with a new struggle but overall, the same issue potential with nothing to show for it and then repeat the cycle all over again. Or what the last guy did, before I could finally get bored or tired of him and his shit he somewhat gets his shit together and leaves. At least for a while, (I’ll get into that toxic mess in another post.)
After being dump I had no one to look at but myself and decided to do some digging on why I ended up in these shitty ass dating cycles. Besides discovering even though I’m a decent-looking woman, with a good income, I had some self-esteem issues and serious boundaries issues but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Anyone can tell anyone you need to learn to set boundaries, you have low self-esteem because you tolerate this, or you do that. But where does it come from? How does a person end up this way? Through my digging I became certified as a life coach, I’ve learned a lot about attachment theory and inner child work. I’m obsessed with self-awareness and shadow work and how all of this ties into relating to others and building healthy relationships with yourself and other people. This blog will be about working through your own mess, dating, relationships, love, attachment theory, emotional intelligence, sex, funny & crazy stories, and everything that relates to being human and relating to other humans. I’m hoping my blog posts resonate with you and inspire you to listen or even join the Playing 4 Keeps podcast and look out for the dating app that will be available this year. If you can relate to this post please comment below with your own stories.